Time to move the nightstand......

So a couple of months ago, Kaden woke me up in the wee hours of the morning with a face full of dried blood. He had fallen out of his bed, I had heard him fall from downstairs the night before but figured he didn't cry or even come to find me so he must have been okay!! Well apperently he hit his head on the nightstand and it possibly knocked him out, cuz he doesn't even remember the pain. This picture was after we started soaking it off looking for the source. Soooooo, he must have issues with falling out of bed......because last night he came into my room crying that he had a headache, I was soooo tired I told him to just get in bed with me and I would cuddle with him!!! This morning we woke up, and I HATE to admit this, to blood in our bed!!!!! He had fallen off his bed once again, hitting his head behind the ear. To my relief it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But yeah, no wonder he had a headache!!!!! So, today we are moving the nightstand, or we could put Kaden back in the crib :)

We scream for Ice Cream!

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!!! We Love you. Thank you for all you do for us. These Kids love you soooo much!

We love you and we love Ice Cream!!

Pucker up....







And have fun....

Hope you had a nice day. The kids will never forget the pickle! Ha Ha! We look up to you and admire you. You are a great dad! How old are you these days anyways!! WE LOVE YOU!

Fun times...

This is the coolest Mc Donalds!! The kids loved it there and always beg to go back. Here Dylan plays Dead! While Kaden takes a snap on a turtles back. Just the Boys out with mom. They had a lot of fun! Making memories. It's what life is all about. I love it when my kids play so well together. It's not uncommon for us to get along.....just pleasant when they DO!! And I Love my camera phone so I can capture unexpected moments away from home.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable." I love this talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. (click on "I love" to read all of it) It is a good bit of food for thought! It makes me think twice when I open my mouth. "We hold the power for good or ill in our words?" Which will I choose? As for our children, "praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture's obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are enough."

I am such a follower!

So, I began blogging because everyone was doing it. It became an addiction. Next, everyone was sooooo hyped about the "TWILIGHT" movie coming that I had to test the waters and see what was so exciting about Edward! And the fact that I didn't want to be left out when everyone talked about it. So I know I am about 2 1/2 books behind times.....but, as a person that has never finished a book cover to cover, I can not put it down. My kids ask when we are going to read, they read their book as I read mine. Kaden came up with this bright idea...."Mom, if you just look at the words on the page, your voice says it in your head, we can read together but one our own." I guess it is true what they say about your children seeing you read. I just wish it was my scriptures they were watching me read....I will work on that one.

"Without the dark, we'd never see the stars."

Matix! Trouble has arrived.

This morning I came around the corner to find Matix with a mouthful of dirt. I was a little upset because this is an everyday occurrence in our home. I had just moved the plants in hope that he wouldn't find them, and I guess it didn't work. I said to him "MATIX did you eat dirt!!" With the sweetest face he looked up at me and started shaking his head "NO NO NO" I couldn't help but to crack up. And who could be mad at a that? He is getting so big, he just started saying no to everything. We play a game called do you love Daddy? And his response is no no no every time! We know that isn't true....this kid loves his da da. Matix and Brad have an amazing bond, I love to watch the two of them play together! So it's time to baby proof the house. He started climbing the stairs, pulled the lamp off the table onto his head, and everything goes in his mouth. You can't turn your back on him for a second. But I love it. He is such a joy to have in our house. The other kids get a kick out of him. I think he is such a love......but a busy one at that. I guess I had forgotten what it was like to have a little one again. But like I said, "I LOVE IT."

Emma Smith is my Hero!

"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures." ~Joseph Addison

All too often I am faced with hard times in my life and I become bitter. I realize that I am a very negative person alot of the time, my husband would say all of the time, but that is not true. I realize today that I need to have a better outlook on life, and better attitude. I was listening to a song about Emma Smith...she is truly my Hero! She was faced with every kind of hardship known to man, so many trials. We went to see the movie about her life story not too long ago, man, if I could only be half of the woman she was!!! I noticed that no matter what she was faced with she never gave up, and she never doubted or left Joseph's side. The relationship the two of them shared was untouchable. She was amazing!! She taught her daughter the importance of maintaining faith amid such trials. I vow to strive to have more faith and to look for the blessings that come after my trials.

I should write a book!!

Today we were off to a slow start to our day and I asked Brad to clip Harleys nails before he left because he kept on scratching me. So Brad goes outside to get clippers and sees the other dogs and thinks.....hum I'll do theirs to. So he comes in and tells me, I think I snipped Malibu's nail too short. I go to look out the window and there is blood everywhere. I give Brad the cornstarch and head in cuz I absolutely hate blood. Next thing I know he's kissing me goodbye and leaves. I think nothing of it cuz, you'd think if he knew he would say......."THERE IS BLOOD SQUIRTING ON THE WINDOW!!!!!!!" No. I walk around the corner into the kitchen after he's left, and blood is pulsating from his foot and shooting the sliding glass door. I absolutely went into panic mode. Let me say this is a great dog an all, but he smells and I wouldn't necessarily invite him in, pet and cuddle this sweet grandpa dog...... I wish I would have taken a picture before, because no one will ever believe me when I say there was alot of blood. Malibu was lapping it up faster than I could even think to put a hose on it. I do have to say as a happy ending to the story, I did a great job under pressure, and here is the ending to my traumatic morning......

Isn't it beautiful!! Matix sock fit just fine and the bleeding did finally stop!

TEARS.......

I didnt realize I would be this sad......forgive me for sorting my emotions where the whole world can see. I probably wont publish this, I just need to get it off my chest so I can sleep tonight. I was 10 weeks today, last tues they suspected something was wrong and sent me for blood work and an ultrasound. All week long I knew something wasn't right, I didn't feel right, but we tried to stay positive. And today I miscarried. And I am so sad, I cant stop crying. When I found out we were pregnant, we instantly added another member to our family, finding it names, where it would sleep, and who would change its diapers. Is this normal?? The kids new something wasn't right and were acting up, I just kept praying that they would be good, so I could get threw what turned out to be 3 hours of HELL. And I repeat hell. London peeked her sweet little head in my room as I was crawling into bed and she came running in crying, curled up next to me and cried with me for quite a while. She just kept saying I love you mOm. I just kept on thinking how could I tell her.... I feel so empty inside, so so sad. I feel like something is now missing from my life and no one understands. I know that isn't true. I have had so much love and support from so many this week as I tried not to over react, so many of you wrapped your arms around me and prayed for me. For that I am soo grateful, I have such amazing FRIENDS and FAMILY!!!! May I ask for forgiveness in advance.....I know me, and I have already done it, I may go into hidding for awhile, my phone may go unanswered intentionally, but not personally......I am just afraid of letting anyone see me when I am down. Poor Brad has to live with me. I thought I would be stronger, and all week I tried to prepare but was not very successful. So to all who have experienced this...... my heart feels your sorrow and loss. I am sorry I wasn't there for you more emotionally when it was you. I pray that I will be able to process this and somehow find peace and happiness in knowing that Heavenly Father knows me and loves me and that he will send us another health baby.....soon.

Boy bonding.....

Brad and the Boys went to the ASU scrimage game lastnight and they had a blast. After the game they got to go down on the field and get signatures from the players. Dylan and Kaden love Football and they love the SunDevils so you could emagine the stories they had to tell mom this morning. It made it a little hard to get up this morning for school, but lets be honest, how often do you get to meet the players. And Sparky?!!!! What kid doesnt love him.Thanks Dad for being so cool and sharring this with them. Dylan's only wish would be to meet the Patriots..... It's cute to see him be so into his cards, and know players and stuff I dont even know (thats not saying much) It was cute to see them have so much fun. Now Dylan wants to be Sparky for halloween and Kaden want to be an ASU Football player.

Homework....

Start them young.... Dad and Matix are helping Kaden with homework. Im sorry but home work is not my favorite part of the day. But I do love these guys. I liked this picture of the three of them and I couldn't pass it up. (smiles)

I guess it travels fast....

Good news travels fast. I guess its safe to say that most everyone could probably already tell before I said anything. The chub was a little too hard to hide. And hide cuz I thought I was just getting way fat. But, WE couldnt be happier!! London is praying for a sister. And Dylan says mom this is prolly enough kids, when all 5, I mean four, are crying for chocolate milk its going to be way loud and crazy. I was a little scared at first....5 is alot. But after realizing that ignorance is bliss, I was happy. Brad and I both knew after Matix was born that there was one, and I say one more. Our first three are soo close, then Matix 4 years latter. That may not be too long for some, but when you grow up with your older sisters all being married and out of the house before my life even really begun at the age of 12, you would prefer it to be different for your own. So, Dylan will get his wish of wanting lots of brothers and sisters so he would never be lonley. After his comment he may change his mind.

Is he a pet, or a toy?

I came down after taking a shower and the kids had made a trail of cheerios from the kitchen to the family room. They claimed that they were playing a game with Matix and was trying to lead him to the treasure. We got a kick out of watching him scoot from cheerio to cheerio eating them as fast as he could. The kids just love him to death. Each and everyday he does something new that just amazes them, us. Scooting and sitting is his newest.....hench the cheerio path. Its so sad how fast they grow up. And someday we are going to look at this picture and laugh at the green carpet......kinda looks like the green shag we use to have growing up.

Hit me with your best shot...

I came home the other day to find this. I hope it doesn't offend anyone. I love this Kid, he never fails to entertain us!!



He had just figured out how to play guitar hero and was sooooo excited to show me. The outfit was the kicker. It takes personality and skill to pull of some of the tricks this kid pulls off. He is becoming a pretty good dancer:) Ask grandma and Tara, he's got some moves only a mother could love. Some day he wants to be on So you think you can dance. And with his ambition and drive, he could.

A night at the races.....

Uncle Eric built a race car, and has been sooo excited to have all the kids come and watch. I don't know who was more excited him or the kids. The cars were fast and loud. Some had more fun than others! London appears to have two left feet lately. At least she didn't loose any teeth. Dylan took a fall as well......Despite the injuries, everyone had a blast. Dylan asked for Eric's autograph when the race was all over, they didn't care if he won or lost.
They look up to and admire Uncle Eric more than he will ever know.

Wahooo......

1st Day of School.......some are more excited than others. London couldn't have been more excited to finally be a big girl. Kaden was too excited to sleep the night before. Dylan, had a touch of anxiety, and his backpack was really heavy. This year we couldn't be happier with our teachers and friends in our classes. Kaden skated off to class with flying colors, Dylan did great too, just needed a little extra encouragement. Now London, I could have only wished for just one tear, or I'll miss you mom. Nope, that girl would hardly even look at me after she saw that classroom door.....she had one thing on her mind. Everyone had a great day. It was a hot day and everyone was ready for a nice cold sonic. Dylan told me on the way home "Mom Mrs Boyd was right, she said she would put me in the best class and she did." Im glad he feels that way cuz we had a rough start. Kaden didn't really say much. London, she loved it just said it was long. She was a little stone faced when I picked her up. In fact I got a phone call from the dance studio saying London fell asleep while she was stretching and to come get her cuz they couldn't wake her up!! I guess we need to move bedtime up so that wont happen again. I didn't realize how quite the house is when the 3 are gone. I'll have time to bond with Matix and time to finally get a grip on my life since he was born.

There is absolutely nothing sweeter......

Dylan, this one is for you.....

I have spent the last several days thinking about what I could say about Dylan. To anyone who knows him knows, to pick one thing about him is impossible.....I am totally getting choked up just thinking about how tender his spirit is. He is honestly one of the most lovable kids, and underneath all of the long hair, is the biggest heart. I noticed at a very very young age that he had a soft side and he has always been in tune with the spirit. I feel like I have to protect him as he ventures through life so he wont get hurt. The smallest things crush him. One of my biggest trials is going to be letting him fly with his own two wings. Man I love this kid. I believe a name picks you, and when I look back laughing about who named him :) I know this to be true. Dylan means FAITHFUL......need I say more.

My dad passed away suddenly when Dylan was only 6 months old. There were days when he would ask me to lay Dylan on the floor by him so he could just watch him. There were times when I saw tears in his eyes as he sat in awe of him. I wish I would have known how sick he really was. I would have done so many things different. Dad and Dylan bonded in a way dad never bonded with anyone else in the world. I dont know what it was, Dylan soften that thick skin of his!! I know today, 7 years latter, that they still have that bond. Dylan use to play trains with him in the loft of our old house. I would be downstairs and would here him say Pa Pa look......and there is no doubt that he was there. We miss you Pa Pa, we know you are with us and that you will never leave us.

Sending out my LOVE....

I want to take 3 seconds and just say that I have the MOST AMAZING friends. Each and everyone of you add something incredible to my life. I couldn't ask for a better support group. We Love you ALL!!!! And thank you for loving us for who we are and who we arent........

Out of the mouths of Babes....

The other morning, really early Kaden came in and crawled in bed with us. He is the biggest LOVE, his heart is huge, and he gives the best snuggles and the best kisses. As we layed there he said, "Mom, sometimes when I look at Matix my eyes water, and sometimes when I'm at church they do the same thing." When I asked him why he thought they did that he sweetly said "Because Matix is so cute and he helps me feel the spirit. When I'm at church I have to put my head down and wipe my eyes so no one see's, I think I'm feeling the spirit?!" It's amazing the lessons our kids can teach us. Last summer Kaden wanted to walk on water so badly and he told me that someday he could.....Yeah right was my response with very little thought. Then with the saddest face he looked at me and said, "Mom, I can walk on water if I have faith!" How often they open doors for us to teach and for us to learn! I wish I could have the faith of this little child.

Lodon Shae

London is becoming such a good dancer. This was her at her recital back in June. She is taking quite a few dance classes now and she loves it. Except for ballet, she claims its boring. Dad tells her "Thats where you learn to point your toes" (wink wink) Dad and London have these contests from time to time to see who has the "PRETTIER" point. Dad usually wins due to his creativity in trying. It will be fun to see her learn and grow this year, in more ways than one. London is very shy, or should I say selectively shy. So we will see how her confidence grows. She is in a performing group at SAS, they are going to be performing at Suns games and Rattlers games to name a few. She's in it for the Pom Poms I'm sure. We are in it for the experience and the confidence. The friends too. She has made some really good friends already. She just found out today that she gets to start kindergarten in two weeks. She is thrilled, Mom is kinda sad. She's growing up so fast. I don't know how much more time she could spend in the bathroom combing her hair, I cant imagine what shes going to be like when she is a teenager......watch out!!!

"A Gift from God"

This is Matix, he joined our family on Dec. 17 and he has truly blessed our lives. He has the most tender spirit, and his smile, it melts your heart. When I look into his eyes, I see heaven, and it makes me cry to think of what a miracle he is. I can honestly say I never really knew what pain and the heartache moms went threw when they lost an unborn child.....sure it made me sad: but it wasnt until the day I was faced with the choice of choosing me or him that I really felt what it was like!!! The day the doctors told me I would most likely loose him felt like the longest day of my life. Looking at him now, how could you ever choose! At that moment, cancer wasnt what scared me. Brad said the night before I went in for surgery, "What an honor, if his only calling in life was to save yours!!!!" Miracles happen, and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the power of the priesthood is Real! That through faith and the fasting and prayers of many many people that the outcome was sooo good. So, Thank you to all who played a part in building my testimony, and for letting me share this with you. My mother-in-law has a saying on her wall that goes something like... Its easier to have a piece of Heaven in your home, when someone you love is in Heaven. Both of our grandpa's are up there, and we miss them soooo much. I know that they played a big part in sending this bundle of love into our lives. He is "Our Gift from God", just a little reminder that he is mindful of us and that his love for us is unconditional. I thank him everyday for trusting me with his children!!

"After the darkest storm comes the brightest day"

We have definately been faced with our share of trials these past couple of years. Many of us have. And I will have to say that there are days when I get down and bitter. There was this one day inparticular where I was running way late, my kids were crying, bills were due, and all I could do is murmur and complain. As I rushed to back out of the garage I saw something out of the coner of my eye. It was a car.......and just by the skin of my teeth, I had squeeked by. Wiping my brow, I raced down the street to get London to dance (and you cant be late) Next I sat at a red light putting on my makeup, cuz you know, the visor mirror is always my choice of vanity. I heard sqwilling tires and quickly looked up to see where they were and as I looked in my mirror, all I could see was a S-10 truck sliding sideways and headed right for me. Cars had started to go so I punched it to get out of the way......and luckily I did. With NO time to spare I continued on my way. A little later I was talking (oh wait, yelling) at Brad on the phone. Telling him what a disapointment our life was and crying as I headed to the next scheduled event. That evening as we had a pool full of friends I excused myself to find the odor that was coming from my kitchen....as I stood there doing dished I had the erge to go read my scriptures, and I did hoping it would get rid of the sour attitude I was still possesing. As I open them it was as if the verse was glowing (maybe it was hilighted) I couldn't even tell you where it is now but it said that there are many blessings that are promised to us, all we have to do is proclam them. I then proceded to get on the phone to pay our mortgage payment, as the gentelman started taking my info, I thought oh great I cant even understand him. Out of nowhere he asked if he could grant me a blessing......."sure" whatever that means...... he said "I dont know anything about you, but I feel impressed to tell you that After the darkest storm comes the brightest day...... and your luck will improve in July." It didnt even take till July, because as he pulled up my total due, it was $600.00 cheeper than I expected it to be, and that the next month it would go down even more. If anyone has ever been straped, my eyes filled with tears and I then began to recognize the blessings that I had been given in that day alone. I didnt hit the car, 1. 2 - When that truck almost hit me, may I confess my sins ----- London was in the front seat, and Matix was in his carseat, but not buckeled!!! Disaster, I know. What I thought in that moment was that it would have slowed me down.....NOW; I know that Heavenly Father spared the lives of my sweet sweet babies. Lesson's learned....
I know that we are commanded to read our scriptures daily, its hard, life is busy. But I know that as we do the things that we are asked to do, we will be blessed.

Family 1st...

FAMILY is soo important. And its so much fun to see your Kids interact with eachother. Even better when they are getting along!!! Each of my children have such different personalities and perks about them which makes for a very interesting evening. What you see here is very common in our home. Animation and sassyness!!!! I would garantee a night of dancing and twirling, laughing and farting. Music is always blasting in the background with someone yelling "Watch Me", while I'm yelling turn it down. We are commanded to find Joy in our children, and I try to remember that on those days when Im tired and run down. I believe they were sent here to entertaine us and help us get threw this crazy Life! 4th of July was fun this year. Brad has been gone to Mexico alot lately and it was nice to spend those 5 days up at the cabin hanging out and being silly, being a family.
We found this tree swing out in the forest and I guess you had to be there.....Brad was swinging from it and I kept saying one more time and he kept on doing it one more time, and then of course - he fell. We were cracking up so hard. It was the old Brad laughing and having a blast. I forgot what it was like to see him smile so big :) I loved it.

No words could ever express how special this picture is to me. This was the day we blessed Matix. He is honesly the sweetest baby! There is no doubt that he was sent to us to save my life. He caries with him a special spirit. When I look into his eyes, sometimes I catch a glimps of Heaven. I know that he spent his days before joining our family here on earth with his grandpa's! On the days that I am sad and wishing they were here, I realize that they know him better than we do, and that they are here with us all the time.
Matix and I call Brad "Poppy" all the time (when we say it you have to use the silly little voice) They do this thing where brad puts Matix's hand on his scruffy face and before he even gets a chance to do it, Matix is already shaking his head "NO NO NO" and laughing in antisipation. Daddy adores him soo much, as we all do. We are blessed to have him in our home. It was an awesome day.

I realized today.....

We went up to my sisters cabin this 4th of July. We had a blast riding the Arctic cat, eating, hiking, shooting air soft guns (watch out London hit two cans), and enjoying the beautiful country. It was such a peaceful place. Between changing diapers and tying shoes, I found a few moments to reflect on life. Its amazing how the spirit is so present in the silence of the trees. There was a time when the arctic cat started up and all the kids came running to jump on, as they did every time. But for some reason this time I felt very very uneasy about London going. I pulled Brad aside and told him how sick I was to my stomach as they drove away, and what should I do?! I didnt know if it was the spirit telling me to chase them down or, or what? Brad left the room, and I found myself on my knees praying to Heavenly Father to protect my baby from whatever it was that was making me so uneasy, and to bring her back to me safely. It was a simple and very short prayer and as I went back to join everyone I kept on wondering why I still felt the way I did. They returned shortly and everyone was perfectly fine, they all had a blast riding in the woods in the dark. So why the feelings? Then I realized that there are going to be times where we may never know why we are prompted to do things, but simply that we are being obedient to the spirit. We are continuously faced with tests and trials in our lives and I truly believe that they are to prepare us for what lies before us. Our faith is like a muscle in our body, if we dont use it it becomes weak and impossible to use. I believe that as we listen to the spirit and give heed to his promptings we will be blessed.

Where do I begin.......

Our life has been so crazy busy, full of stories to tell, so how do you decide where to start. I guess today would be good. Ive been peeking in on friends from time to time....and its so fun to see everyone. I dont ever really have anything profound to say ever, but for those who know me, know I can CHAT. Sometimes my mouth does this thing where it opens and uncontrolably words come out, it is often refer to as a bad case of verbal vomit. More so than that, I have a mind that goes a mile a minute and sometimes getting it out of my head helps me process my thoughts. So on that note, I am sorry:)