I know I have said it over and over again, but I love this kid. He has such a tender side to him. One I have never witnessed before first hand. Yesterday was one of those spiritual learning days for me. To some it may sound silly, but at the end of the day, as I lay there holding this sweet, tear filled emotional boy, I couldn't help but wonder what my life would honestly be like without him in it. I tremble at the thought of life being so fragile, so short and so, important. We loaded up the car yesterday morning and headed to the hospital with Dylan. He was to have surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids. A simple procedure, I knew, but for some reason....my emotions, my feelings were horrifying. How does one know the difference between cold feet and the spirit? I may never know. I kept telling myself as long as we were prayerful, the spirit would make it known to us what to do. Let me back up and say that we had cancelled the surgery once before because two days prior we found out he had pneumonia. Many had brought to my attention how worn down and tired he had been for quite awhile, and I just thought it was the sleep apnea taking a tole on him. We did everything we could to get him better so we wouldn't have to cancel again.....so many trips to the doctor. (and I am not like that) We knew he was doing soo much better, almost, pretty much over it all.....but no clearance from a doctor. I KNEW if I mentioned pneumonia, they would send us home. In my heart did I think he was ready.....I guess not, because hours later, as they were getting ready to take him back, I opened my mouth. My terrifying thought was, what if something was going wrong, and not telling them what I knew was the 15 seconds they needed to help him!!! Dumb I know. No life is worth the risk, and as Dylan lay there full of emotion (so much like his mom) I knew that this little boy had WAY too much to offer the world for us to make such a careless mistake. Whether it be the spirit or medicine...I learned a huge lesson yesterday.
