I KNOW that Heavenly Father has a hand in all things.

So I have to confess a Mothers, well lets just call it a Confession! One that I am not too proud of but feel impressed to share.....

Today I was making dinner, kids were running amuck and Life was busy as always. I turned from the stove to the sink to wash my hands and saw that the sliding glass door was wide open. Then my eyes looked further to see that someone had propped the pool gate open with a tent stake!!!!! At that moment all of the blood left my body and I let out a horrible scream and sprinted towards the door. I cant explain the shear terror that ran through my mind at this moment as I realize that the door was open because I have a sweet little 20 month old that just loves the outdoors and every second he gets to spend in the water or with the dogs! As I rounded the corner into the pool area my heart stopped as I saw small ripples in the hot tub, and again let out a loud call for Matix. At that moment, still in motion towards the pool, I thought I don't know CPR and my child is going to be on the bottom of that pool I KNOW IT.....he will die because I don't know CPR!!!!

My eyes scanned the hot tub, then the pool, then back to the hot tub.....thinking I'm missing him, where is he? Mind you in a panic, calling out his name!!!!! You see anyone that knows Matix, knows that you can NOT keep him out of the water for anything. We have to be so careful to watch him anytime we are around water given his age and his love for the sport! By this time tears were present and I'm looking around wondering where is he when I hear a teenie tiny noise come from around the corner.....there he was, playing with the pool pump. I think I scared him as I grabbed him and started yelling "WHO OPENED THE POOL FENCE" For this reason right here is why I never wanted a pool.

How could one ever recover from such a loss?

I had no concept of time, how long the door had been open, how long he had been out there....5 seconds, 10 min?! He's gotten good at going out and shutting the door behind him, where blessing number one comes in, if the door was shut, would I have noticed the pool fence?! Second....I know that there were angels with him leading him to the side of the house and away from the water! In a one year olds eyes, whats more inviting....water, or a box with buttons that he couldn't see from the gate?

I am constantly being reminded everyday that our Heavenly Father is actively present in our lives!!!! I asked myself tonight as I saw an overturned car on the freeway....if I hadn't stopped to get the ants out of the car seat, would I have been at the wrong place at the wrong time? We may never know....but I have to believe that an inconvenience of life may in someway protect us sometimes. So with all of this being said, I have to stop and thank my Father "s" in Heaven for watching over me and my sweet family!

Tonight as I put Matix down for bed, I kissed him a little longer, and hugged him a little tighter! Man I love this kid, and hours later I am still a mess.